“Mandatory Milkshakes”

AT Day 51

Miles Today: 21.77

AT Mile: 912.5* (see post script)

(Shenandoah National Park, mid point)

Somebody told me about the milk shakes more than 200 miles ago, but I wasn’t listening carefully enough. I thought they said that I need to make sure to check out the “Black Bear Milk Shakes,” which I presumed to be the name of a restaurant or something. Now that I’m in Shenandoah National Park however, it’s hard to go all that far without hearing talk about the “black BERRY milk shakes” that are available at the wayside stops along Skyline Drive, the highway that runs through the park.

I wanted to get one last night, but couldn’t complain about my reason for being stopped just 1.1 mile short of getting to the wayside–which was an old friend’s mom picking me up, bringing me to her place, feeding me, and giving me a soft bed to sleep on for the night. Since I didnt get one yesterday however, I had to get one today.

My overall review: They’re pretty good, I guess. Service was on par with what you’d expect from a national park concessioner–basically abysmal. But the shake itself was good. I probably hadn’t “earned” the calories after only hiking 1.1 miles to get to the wayside this morning and having such a wonderful breakfast at the Borger’s home today, but that didnt stop me. It was my first chance to try them out, and they’ve been raved about for more than 200 miles.

The wayside also brought back some of the feelings I was having before Trail Days though. When I arrived there had to have been nearly a dozen backpacks outside the wayside from all the hikers inside, also enjoying milkshakes, burgers, and typical dinner food that the stop also offers. I knew a couple of them, having passed them on trail in the preceding week. But I didn’t *know* any of them. At least not well enough to barge into their conversation or just join in at their table.

It was reminiscent of grade school lunch–not having anywhere to sit because all the cool kids already took up the seat with the other cool kids.

Maybe the metaphor breaks down there. Because I don’t feel superior (or for that matter inferior) to any of the hikers out here. But I do feel very different and disconnected from most of them. I know several of the hikers I meet on trail well enough to share exchanges when we pass one another. But that tends to be the depth of it. There was one guy I saw maybe three or four times today, as we hiked similar pace and were in a similar area. We hiked together for at most .25 miles, trying to strike up small talk.

Didn’t work.

We ended up parting ways at the shelter.

But while we were both at the shelter–me making dinner, while he filtered water and set his sleep gear out–he asked me about the CDT. He’d actually asked me about it before though. Before he’d asked “when will you hike the CDT?” And I told him “2019.”

Then, at the shelter, he remarked that I must be used to hiking by myself and alone, because I’ve hiked the CDT.

His point was a fair one. There are significantly fewer people on the CDT than on the AT. But the people are also very different. I actually did meet people whom I hiked with for hundreds of miles on the CDT. Because we were the only ones out there; there were so few of us. It only made sense for us to group together when we met another hiker like ourselves. But also, there were very long stretches of the CDT that I hiked alone.

It’s one of the things that I was looking forward to find on the AT that I have not found in my hike–connection with other hikers on trail. In most of the ways that matter to me, I feel very alone and not like one of the others who I meet out here. I feel sort of like a fraud because of it. But I also acknowledge that’s a weird thing to feel, given the situation. But feelings are funny things. They don’t always line up with logic. We feel what we feel, and not necessarily what we think we aught to feel.

—

Today is my 51st day on the trail, and as insane as this sentence is for me to write, it’s also my first day without psychedelics since starting the trail.

I set out on this experiment in conscious on day 1, with the wild idea that I wanted to try walking the entire trail under the influence of mushrooms, on a daily basis. I’d never done anything of the like before, but I’d given it a lot of thought and preparation. It seemed like a terrible idea, but also one worth trying.

The first two weeks were interesting, to say the least, as I adjusted to life on the AT as well as being under the daily influence of a psychedelic. On day 10 I gave thought to taking a day off every 10th day, but I obviously decided otherwise.

Over the 50 days I added (L)ove to the equation 5 times as well.

By the end of 40 days I was giving more thought to taking some time off from it. Then by 45, that thought was stronger. I spent the rest of the week set on making day 50 my last consecutive day of the trail as I’d been doing it. I wanted to take a tolerance break, and today marks the beginning of that break.

I’ve learned so much and gained so much from those first 50 days that I’ll surely be working though it for much of the rest of my life. My hope, as altruistic as it is, is to write more about the experiences of those first 50 days as well as the trail days to follow after I finish the AT. I want to take a month and stay out here in the east, specifically working on writing and trail running. Now that there’s a cute face down south… well… that gives me another reason to stay out east, but it may also give me somewhere to set up shop around while I work on trying to get some of what’s happened this summer onto the page.

My intention is to remain without psychedelic influence for the next 7 days. Boots will be joining me in Harpers Ferry next Friday, and I have a strong feeling that Molly will probably join us on Friday. As such, I want my serotonin receptors to be relitively fresh by next week, and I want the time to recover from the last 50 days.

God… it’s been a lot.

I’m incredibly grateful for it.

—

So one last thing that’s been on my mind. And this one’s kind of funny to me. But I’ve had three people now who have asked about how they can send me something on trail–like a resupply box of food and what not.

I didn’t give the first request much though, but after a couple more people asked, it got me thinking. And I don’t see why I should resist the offers.

So here’s what’s up: next week I’m going to have some time off trail to map out a rough timeline for the rest of my hike of the AT. What I’m going to do is list where and when (approximately) I’ll be along trail, along with a list of the foods/items that I resupply with when I have to get restocked. If you, for some strange reason, want to send me a resupply box, then I’m not going to fight you on it! I’mma just happily receive and refuel 🙂

So I’ll have more info on that next week. I’ll probably post a link on facebook and instagram.

And if you’re reading that, and thinking to yourself, “Home boy can get his own f*cking resupply. He doesn’t need to be begging it off of me.” Well that’s totally valid too, and I’ve got no expectation for anything except if you want to send it 🙂

Alright. We reach that point where I’m almost too tired to write.

Will write again tomorrow, after another wayside blackberry milkshake.

Wormwood.

P.S. changing my reading in the heading from “total miles” to “AT Mile” to reduce confusion. I hike farther than the official milage by doing detours and water and what not. Keeping track on that in the CDT made more sense, as that trail didn’t have official mile markers. But with this one, everyone is all about the “official milage.” So to reduce confusion, I’m changing to AT miles at the start of the post to replace the total miles walked. Hope that makes sense…