“Too Much Ice Cream”

AT Day 63

Miles Today: 25.0

AT Mile: 1112.6

(Pine Grove Furnace State Park/James Fry Shelter)

Strange that I had that nightmare two nights ago, and then ended my journal with it last night. Because right afterwords I went to sleep and had the same basic dream. Still weird and kafkaesque, like dreams always are, but spun on the same theme. Namely that I’d done something unspeakable horrible (that part is never actually part of the dream), and that I’m now about to be caught for that thing.

Part of it is that I know that the thing I did wrong isn’t of my character–and that it’s not something that I’d ever do (which makes it kafkaesque I guess)–but I still have to take the consequences.

Sorry… I always hate it when people go on and on about their dreams. I don’t mean to do the same.

—

Woke from nightmares early this morning. It was still dark-dark. It was 4am, and I was on trail at 4:30 on the dot.

I’d been hearing for some time now that today’s going to be hot–possibly breaking 90, and with the combined humidity and stagnant air, that makes hiking intolerable. So all the hikers at that shelter collectively agreed that we’d have our alarms set for 4am and that we’d be on trail at 4:30. I was the first to trail, and most of them were still asleep when I left.

First thing this morning I thought I startled a toad. It happens sometimes; I’ll hear a rock turn or a leaf crumple, then look down to see a toad or something.

This morning that happened, and I looked down to the tip of my hiking pole, where the sound came from, but I didn’t see any toad. I stood there for a couple of seconds, my eyes still blurry from the lack of sleep, my headlamp flashing around at the ground until I eventually saw the coiled copperhead, two feet away from me.

I stepped back before taking a picture.

It was strange being up and hiking so early, but I also liked getting so many miles done so early. By noon I had more than 15 miles done.

It was my first day getting “ten by ten.”

—

My sleep quality was mixed last night. I fell asleep well, but tossed a bit between midnight and 3am. Didn’t get nearly enough sleep either. Caffeine kept me going through the morning, but I still felt full from Chinese Buffett as I walked those first half dozen miles this morning.

—

Last night there were two hikers at the shelter, talking about “feeling old.” One of them is 20 and one of them 26 years old. I asked her how she thinks that might make me feel.

She asked if she could guess how old I was, and I told her of course.

She started at 29. Then started acting more flabbergasted as her guesses went above 35.

Eventually I told her, “I turn 40 in 4 months.”

The other hiker made a comment that it must be somethign about the psychedelics. I said maybe, and reminded him that I don’t drink or smoke (tobacco).

—

At one point this morning I passed two hikers who were off in the distance, collecting water from a spring that was just off trail. At first I just heard the sound of two peoples’ voices, then as I got closer it became clear that they were arguing with one another. Then I heard one of the couple yelling at a dog, and that’s when I realized who they must have been. It’s a couple that I’ve met two or three times before this. Every time I’ve met them they’ve left a bad impression. The first time was over a month ago. It was raining and I was stopped to get water when I heard them approaching with an iPhone playing music through a Bluetooth speaker. They had a little dog with them and the man kept chastising the dog. Every time I’ve seen them with that dog he’s been barking at that damn dog! And they were arguing with one another that first time I saw them.

That’s been the scene every time I’ve seen them. The one time I saw them not fighting was at a bar, where they were both getting sloshed. Not sure where the dog was at the time. That was also the bar where I heard another patron use the N word openly. It was a bad scene.

This time I didn’t even see them. The spring was just far enough off trail that I could hear their bickering and hear him yelling at the dog, but I never walked over there to get water or see them.

At this point I feel like I can just feel the energy that they exude. I don’t know what better word to call it than toxic.

It’s been impossible for me not to reflect back on my last long relationship, and try to wonder if that’s the energy that we were producing together at the end. Lord how my memory of the ending is awful. But only now that two years have passed is it becoming possible to look back through what might be a clearer point of view and realize that was us in those bushes, trying to keep our relationship together, even though it’s clear to everyone else that it’s nothing but toxic and characterized by dispute.

—

As for the actual trail today, it’s been beautiful!

Watching the sunrise has been magic.

There have been unbelievable blooms of mountain laurel flowers from first light all the way to the full light of day!

I also passed the half-way point of the Appalachian Trail this morning.

It’s been introspective to think back on 1,100 miles.

500 miles ago it felt like this was such a long trail. I can’t explain how today, 600 miles later, 2,200 miles doesn’t seem like all that far.

I mean… yes, it’s a long fucking way. That’s an objective statement. But subjectively… I mean… it’s… it’s not that bad. It almost feels managable.

—

Temps are high today.

I got a reading of just over 90 degrees at around 11am, but I was fortunate. Just beyond the half way point there is a campground, general store, and showers. I’ve been here charging my electronics and eating ice cream and burgers ever since. It’s shaded here, and there’s AC inside where the grill is located.

I planned on spending the afternoon off trail until temps drop, but I didn’t know that I’d be so fortunate to have a facility like this one to hang out while I wait for the temps.

There are about ten hikers here as well. All of us waiting in the shade and eating ice cream. It’s something of a tradition on the AT to eat a half gallon of ice cream here, at the half-way point of the trail. That sounded splendid before getting here. But now that I’m here, it just isn’t happening.

*Could* it happen?

Yes.

But I’m not willing to go through that kind of pain.

There are probably 5 others here who have done it. I settled for 2.5 pints, a big-ass burger, and 2 diet Pepsis. Of course I went the diet direction with the sodas.

I don’t want to go back to trail for a few more hours still. The day feels like it should be later than it is, but starting at 4:30 will do that for you. I’ll probably wait here until at least 4pm before going back to trail.

Not sure if I’ll write more tonight or not.

—

Part 2:

Today was another one of those good days, all broken up into many parts.

Waking up that early was rough, but getting the miles in early was nice. I’ll be up early tomorrow as well, but I’m giving it another hour. I’ll be up at 5 and on trail by 5:15. I need to get some more sleep tonight.

I’m becoming a bit of a shelter-whore, I guess. This will be my second consecutive night in a shelter. There are four of us here, but only two in the shelter. The other two are camped outside.

Ended up swimming in the lake by that general store for around an hour after writing this afternoon. The water was amazing, and it was the first time that I’ve been swimming like that in years. I swam until my hands started to cramp from cupping the water.

Then Stranger and I hiked the last 7 miles today from that lake to the James Fry Shelter. Someone brought to our attention that he and I both look incredibly similar. They actually had thought that we were brothers. Until someone brought it up, I hadn’t realized, but we do have a lot in common physically. He’s only 20 years old and this is his first ever over-night hike. But we started the same day, and have a few other things in common. Whole lot we don’t have in common though. I think I said last night–he reminds me a lot of myself when I was closer to his age. I can only imagine what would have become of me if I’d started thru hiking all the way back then.

Temps were hot for those 7 miles, but having someone to talk to for the entire time made the time go by so much faster. We are both solo hikers, and by now on the AT, it’s pretty well established who is solo and who is with a group or pair. As solo hikers, we may spend some miles together, but neither of us expects to spend much time together in the grand scheme. Stranger has noted however that he’s enjoyed finding a bit of connection with me and with the other hikers who were doing the half gallon challenge today. So I suspect he might slow his miles for more of that kind of connection. I could be wrong. Either way is the right way.

The forecast is calling for rain starting tomorrow and carrying into the next 4 days. It shouldn’t be anything catastrophic, but it will bring temperatures down at least a little bit.

I think that’s about it.

Definitely calling it a night.

Wormwood.