“Children Named Trees”

AT Day 75

Miles Today: 0.25

AT Mile: 1349.1

(Sola Appalachain Christian Retreat)

The last 36 hours have been some of the most unique of the Appalachain Trail. Maybe they’ve been the most exemplorary 36 hours of the entire trail too, but I just didn’t know that this is what the AT was supposed to be until now.

I haven’t hiked at all since I wrote last. Unless you count the quarter mile journey that we’ve made back and forth to the Unionville General Store and Annabele’s Pizza a few times yesterday and today.

What we have done: play “The Appalachain Trail” board game, build a chicken coop, burn an old stump, build & fill gardening boxes, cut apart old rusted chicken wire, remove chestnuts from the yard, drink homemade sassafras root beer, and eat popcorn.

I’m still at Sola Appalachain Christian Retreat, and it’s our second day here–Plinko, Stranger, and myself.

We’ve met other hikers in town who have stumbled out of the forest and are stumbling back up trail and back into the heat, but god help them… they’ve all looked *rough*. One of them I was authentically worried about, as he looked as if he’d just been hit over the head with a shovel. He insisted that he was fine and was going back out into it. Better him than I…

As the three of us walked back from the store, we remarked how much we’ve enjoyed the last day and a half’s stay here at Sola, and how the alternative would have been two of the most miserable days that we’ve had on trail if we’d opted to hike through it. Honestly though, I still don’t see how hiking could have been possible. Yes, I see people out in it, but I really and truly believe that it’s dangerous out there. Heat index is currently reading at 111 degrees here. Just walking down to the store is intense. Doing yard work this morning, I came in completely soaked through with sweat and had to take a second shower.

I’ve felt weak in my whole body and I even feel my thinking going astray from the heat and humidity–and again, I’ve been 100% sober since arriving here. But the effects of heat and exhaustion have felt like 2-3 beers, except take the fun part out of it.

Pastor Doug made us pancakes and coffee this morning and we’ve had a great opportunity to get to know him and the kids better–all the kids are named after trees. I think it’s Aspen, Maple, and Evergreen. I didn’t get to know Pastor Doug’s wife, Priscilla as well, as she was in the garden and taking care of the kids much of our time, but the bit we did exchange was pleasant.

This morning Pastor Doug mentioned that he wanted to have William, the retreat’s intern, interview me for an audio broadcast that they send to all their followers and the people on their mailing list. I thought it might be 5-10 minutes, but when William sat down to start it, he said it might go as long as an hour.

Before this, I hadn’t mentioned *anything* about the psychedelic stuff to anyone here… well, except Stranger and Plinko, but they don’t count. I mean anyone connected with the Christian Retreat. And it wasn’t my intention to say anything about it during the interview, but as we talked and questions about my trial name came up, and questions about what inspired me to hike the trail, and what I write about in my trail journals, it became progressively more difficult to dodge the metaphorical elephant in the room… and finally I told the story.

I told him about having been an atheist through much of grand school, and how my dad suggested that I try psychedelic mushrooms if I thought that I had all the answers figured out. That psychedelics led me to a deep sense of spirituality, and that it’s a lot of the reason that I later hiked the CDT and eventually came to the AT. It’s why my business is named Acacia Fruit Wellness. It’s the reason that I made it out of my 20s and into my 30s alive. It’s a really big part of who I am, and although a lot of people (like my readers) know that well, there are a lot of people who do not know that part about me. And that’s hard… it being such an important part of who I am and has played such a role in my answering some big questions. Yet I find it hard to know how to talk about without offending. Obviously I talk about it openly here in my journal, but elsewhere in the world I try to play my cards a little closer. Some of you are no doubt reading that last sentence and saying “yeah fucking right,” but in earnest, I keep that part closed to a lot of the people in my life.

Anyways, the interview went well I think. I’ll post a link in my journals if they end up posting it on their website. I’m not 100% sure they will, because William, the intern, acted pretty surprised when I started into the mushroom story, but I also believe fully that the way I explained things was appropriate. The trouble is that many people close off to that conversation so quickly when they hear about “drugs.”

—

The three of us are going back to trail in an hour. It 96 degrees out right now with a 111 heat index, but temps should be dropping soon. They won’t drop far, but at least we’re not climbing in temps anymore. We’d really like to get 10 miles this evening, which will require some night miles, but we all three want to be walking again.

We’d also like to get to trail early tomorrow. It’ll likely be a 4am start. So it’ll probably be directly from trail to sleep tonight. No journaling or dinner at camp. We need to get some sleep.

If we get 10 miles tonight, it’ll only be 15 miles to get into Greenwood Lakes, which is where I sent my next resupply package. Just one day of food to carry from here then since I’ll be resupplying again tomorrow.

Stranger is planning on hiking past Greeenwood Lakes, as he has more than enough food and doesn’t need to resupply there, but Plinko and I are thinking of sticking together. We may actually split a room there tomorrow, not because we need the rest but because I sent my resupply box there and they might not think it too cool if I go there to pick up my box and then don’t spend any money with them. We’ll see.

But on that note, Plinko and I were talking last night and I proposed that he join me on the Pacific Northwest Trail next summer. I’ve offered it to a couple of people–Hemlock and my buddy Geoff namely–but Plinko said yes. At first we were just kind of kidding about it, but then he said he was 100% serious, and I agreed that I’m down for it as well. So with that in mind, I’m hopeful that at least Plinko and I might stick together for awhile on this trail. As I’ve said before, he’s a much faster hiker than I am and he carries much lighter gear, but I’ve heard from him as well that he’s enjoyed building a chicken coop and helping out around here. I sense that we quite connect, beyond just having both hiked the PCT and CDT. Similar ages. Some similar life experiences. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him better.

We were chatting a bit about Taoism two days back. He’s got a lot of experience in Buddhism and brought up several of the philosophers who I’ve followed over the years–Ram Dass to name just one.

I’m hopeful that Stranger may stick with us for some time too. Hard to know about anything though. He did however ship his next pair of shoes to my buddy Hemlock’s place, so we’re at least going to be seeing one another up until Saturday this week.

—

I’ll be dipping off trail on Saturday night until Monday morning to spend time with Boots, Hemlock, and Hemlock’s wife Rachael at their home in Connecticut. I’ve offered that if Plinko and Stranger are interested in joining that they’d probably be welcome as well, but we’re going to see how things go this upcoming week.

Remember that thing about impermanence…

Not only does nothing last. But nothing *needs* to last. Impermanence doesn’t have to be the evil thing that I used to think it was. There is some good in change. There is something profoundly necessary in it.

William Blake said: “Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.”

Remember that. Nothing is lost.

Remember that.

Remember it, Wormwood.

Remember it, Brandon.

Remember it, reader.

Nothing lasts.

But nothing is lost.

Wormwood.