“Wait It Out”

AT Day 124

Miles Today: 0

AT Mile: 1951.5

(The Om Dome Hostel)

There isn’t a whole lot to report today, and as such I will keep things short.

Slept adequately, and woke to a breakfast of coffee and pancakes. Now that I’m switching from coffee to tea, on the days where I do have a cup of coffee it feels more like the stimulation of an illicit substance than what I remember from a casual cup of Joe. My body is becoming more sensitive to stimulants as I draw myself away from them.

I have noticed on this trail that one of the ways that I react to overstimulation is to become very slow and calm. I’ll feel hyper-focused and jittery as hell, but then I’ll go kind of still and quiet. And it works well when everyone else in the room is over-caffeinated too because it allows me to sit still and listen while they chat chat chat chat chat.

It’s become an interesting human study sometimes when I meet talkative people on the trail. I feel like I learn a lot about my self in listening to them.

My three priorities today were to stay out of the heat (temps broke 93 degrees before adding heat index!), restock a bit of cannabis, and plug away on some writing.

The first two I accomplished very well. And the latter has been a curious struggle. To be fair, I have written quite a lot last night and through spurts and stops today, but the quality has felt questionable. Take this journal entry for example–it feels two dimensional, flat, and colorless. Much of what I’ve written has felt that way.

But it has to start somewhere.

I’ve written a few diffferent approaches to a conceptual “Chapter 1” of what this could be if it were to ever become a book.

—

I should make a note that the work that’s going on at this hostel is incredible. There is space outside the shared common bunks for several practitioners to take up residence and provide service. This morning I attended a sound bowl guided meditation with Jes and it was incredibly beautiful. Reminded me of the mediations that I used to attend back in Flagstaff. It also reminded me how far I’ve drifted from my meditation routine while on trail. On trail it’s always about forward progress and it can become easy to lose track of the importance of “be here now.”

The energy of the shared space in the hostel has made writing difficult, but I’ve done what I can with the time that I have. I won’t get down on myself for not trying. And even starting out with a shitty draft is a starting place.

Tonight the hostel is having pizza for dinner.

My plan is to go back to trail tomorrow in spite of the heat going on for another day or so. As such, tomorrow could be hell.

Wormwood.